Remember this. The cops don’t like you. They’re not there to protect you. They are only there to enforce the law.
Anything else is not their goddamn problem. And even enforcing the law is sketchy at times.
The goddamn fucking cops are not your friends, you animals. Please try to remember that.
Good morning, my beloved bastards, should any of you still be reading.
I hope for your sake that you are, otherwise the revolution will pick you up, violate you with a spiked taser, and then shove a purple wand down your urethra. Am I clear?
Now, on to the science. I’ve spent a year now, perculating and probing the idea of Synaptic Viruses and Neural Meme Guns. These are tricky concepts, and you can lay the blame on Richard Dawkins for the concept of memes. You can also blame Douglas Hofstadter and his Metamagical Themas columns.
Let’s start simple, with the definition of a meme. A meme is the unit of self-replication for an idea; a unit of cultural transmission, a unit of imitation. Basically for you useless fucking idiots out there who need me to speak slowly and clearly; a meme is a self-replicating idea.
Next, we come to the definition of a virus. According to my various goddamn dictionaries, which tell me things that I do not wish to hear (such as the fact that Virii is an improper pluralisation of virus), a virus is an ultramicroscopic infectious agent that replicates itself only within cells of living hosts.
A synaptic virus is similar to a meme, in that it is a self-replicating idea. Except that it is an infectious, foreign idea that invades your synaptic relays, and overwrites them, turning thought patterns into new thought patterns. Until the virus dominates your thoughts, allowing you no others, because all your neural pathways and synapses are dominated by this foreign entity.
From here, the next step of a synaptic virus is to alter genetic coding in order to provide a form of transmission aside from the neural meme gun. These transmission protocols are likely to be biological (similar to other viruses, transmitted through air, water, or biological functions), auditory (a sound which infects those who hear it, transmitting the virus through airwaves, or visual. The best example of a transmittable synaptic virus/meme comes from an issue of Global Frequency, by Warren Ellis. The entire series is worth reading, so you plebians should get off your fat fucking asses and go buy five copies. Keep one for yourself, and then pass the other four on to people you know, with the instructions that they should also buy copies and hand them out.
Spread the disease, fuckwipes. Doktor Bedlam is done talking for now.
Next up, I link you to an uppity bitch I know. She’ll be discussing gender politics and all sorts of other shit, which should hold your attention longer than the thirty seconds it usually takes you to get off and then fall asleep.
The Large Hadron Collider is set to cause an explosion so large that the world ends. So claim the deranged, villainous and entirely idiotic opponents of Science. If you didn’t realise, these people are my own personal whipping boys, whom I will personally anally violate with their own genitalia should they continue their interference in my works.
But back on topic, the LHC goes off in approximately an hour.
Be watching.
FOR SCIENCE.
Doktor B.
PS. The next entry will involve Synaptic Viruses (I want to call them Virii, but that is not quite correct English. Fuck you linguistics!), Neural Meme Guns, and if you’re lucky, I’ll finish that fucking definition of Electro/Teslapunk so that you meatbags know what I’m talking about
I have not the time to go searching across the vast spaces of the internet to see if anyone else has had this idea. It is likely that they have. HOWEVER, I am making a note of it here, my bastard children, so that it might be recorded for all time.
Viralpunk. An offshoot of Biopunk in which we viral-based knowledge sharing. Education through tailored diseases
Cough on someone, and transmit every memory you’ve had to them.
Think on the possibilities. How well do you know your girlfriend? How well would you like to know her?
Just remember; I’ve known your girlfriend in ways that you can only dream of. Biblical Ways.
Edit: Genetic Engineering involves viral transmissions. This one is firmly in biopunk territory. But it’s a specific form of such.
Also, Viral marketing.
End Edit.
Now, discuss.
Doktor B.
I have held many names in the past, Pinkerton Scumbag being foremost amongst those whom currently lie in a ditch in the middle of bloody England missing their eyes, teeth, and steaming genitals. How I did love their genitals.
But I digress; these days I prefer to wear a different set of gloves. You can call me Doktor Bedlam. And unlike certain other gentlemen, with names like Steel and Horrible, I am not mad. I am in fact rather calm, if you discount my burning love for genitalia. And the burning in my genitalia when I must urinate.
But that’s all beside the point. The point is, I am Doktor Bedlam, and I am here to introduce you children to the wide world of Biopunk, steampunk, cyberpunk, and electropunk (which is also deemed Teslapunk after everyone’s favourite little Serbian-American crackpot).
I am also going to rant at you about all manner of things, from table etiquette and how to devise a doomsday device that actually works, to how you should be living your lives in worship of myself, and my lovely assistant, Miss Twist.
That is what you can expect from these sporadic writings. Now bugger off, and find something useful to do, peons.
